I found out the other day that my beloved Grandma is in her last days.
She's been fighting cancer for 8 years now. It started as breast cancer and then moved through the rest of her body. She's been fighting hard, but now her body just can't take anymore.
It's hard to lose someone you love so much. I have so many wonderful memories in my Grandma. I know you're not supposed to have favorites, but my Grandma Garrett, Dessie Geraldine Garrett, was definitely my favorite.
She loved so much. You know, the genuine kind of love. She never had much materialistically to give, but she always gave us her love.
My Grandma will soon be gone from this earth, but will live in Eternity with our Father God, the greatest lover of all.
God will still love me and my family, after my Grandma is gone. And his love is even greater than hers.
I'll miss my Grandma beyond expression, but...I am thankful for a loving heavenly Father who wraps me in His arms and loves me through everything.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Identity & Fears
In 180 this month, we are talking about our Identity, who we are, and how our fears affect and often distort the view we have of ourself. So many of us rob our self from being who God created us to be because we believe in the lies that others have told us or maybe the lies that we have told ourselves. Lies like, "I already messed that up once, so I'm just not going to try it again", or "I'm not good enough; I'm not pretty enough; I'm not talented enough: someone else could do that better". You get the idea. We've been told or shown something by someone in our lives, maybe even just ourselves, and because of that we have given up on anything great in our life.
I grew up in a Christian home with parents who loved me greatly, but my Mom struggled with being a mom different than her own. Her mom didn't encourage her, tore her down, was extremely critical and often abusive verbally and physically. My mom tried not to be the same way, but because she became a mother so young, and the only mother she really had as an example was her own, then she did what she knew. She was an encouraging mother, but at the same time very critical and she had a problem controlling her anger, which would cause her to say and do things that hurt me and my brother and sister. She is sorry for how she was when we were growing up, and we have forgiven her. But, I developed fears early on as a child that still stick with me to this day.
Growing up I just never felt good enough, and when I would fail at something, it was hard to want to try again. I began singing when I was a in middle school. My first big audition for the choir was in 7th grade. I didn't make it into the top choir, which was very dissapointing, but... I had a decision to make. The next year when auditions came up, I had to decided whether it was worth trying again, or if I should just not try again. Thankfully, I tried again... I made it into the good choir. It didn't stop there though. When it came time for High School, I went through the same thing. I can tell you now that I was in the top choir and the top ensemble group... I was a part of the best at my high school. But, it took me two years to get to the top choir, and I had to audition a 2nd year before getting into the jazz ensemble, which was the best of the best.
In my life, I have auditioned time after time after time, and not been "good enough" many of those times. I failed over and over again. But I would almost always try again, and I am so glad, because I love singing and have had incredible opportunities to travel and record. Singing is still one of my absolute favorite things to do... and I'm pretty good at too. Imagine if I had just taken my fear of failure and decided after that very first failed audition that I wasn't good enough. I may have never sang again. And singing is a gift that God has given me. It is definitely one thing that He created me to do.
We all fail. We all have times that we are just not good enough. And sometimes, it's not that we aren't good enough, it's just not the right time for us.
Don't let fear keep you from doing anything. Don't let someone else's comments, critiques, or opinions, keep you from anything. If you really want something, don't let anything or anybody keep you from it, especially, when it comes to your dreams.
What is your purpose? What are your gifts? God created you for a purpose and gave you gifts...don't let fear keep you from being who you were created to be.
(I know it's a long one...sorry) Lots of love to ya'll!
I grew up in a Christian home with parents who loved me greatly, but my Mom struggled with being a mom different than her own. Her mom didn't encourage her, tore her down, was extremely critical and often abusive verbally and physically. My mom tried not to be the same way, but because she became a mother so young, and the only mother she really had as an example was her own, then she did what she knew. She was an encouraging mother, but at the same time very critical and she had a problem controlling her anger, which would cause her to say and do things that hurt me and my brother and sister. She is sorry for how she was when we were growing up, and we have forgiven her. But, I developed fears early on as a child that still stick with me to this day.
Growing up I just never felt good enough, and when I would fail at something, it was hard to want to try again. I began singing when I was a in middle school. My first big audition for the choir was in 7th grade. I didn't make it into the top choir, which was very dissapointing, but... I had a decision to make. The next year when auditions came up, I had to decided whether it was worth trying again, or if I should just not try again. Thankfully, I tried again... I made it into the good choir. It didn't stop there though. When it came time for High School, I went through the same thing. I can tell you now that I was in the top choir and the top ensemble group... I was a part of the best at my high school. But, it took me two years to get to the top choir, and I had to audition a 2nd year before getting into the jazz ensemble, which was the best of the best.
In my life, I have auditioned time after time after time, and not been "good enough" many of those times. I failed over and over again. But I would almost always try again, and I am so glad, because I love singing and have had incredible opportunities to travel and record. Singing is still one of my absolute favorite things to do... and I'm pretty good at too. Imagine if I had just taken my fear of failure and decided after that very first failed audition that I wasn't good enough. I may have never sang again. And singing is a gift that God has given me. It is definitely one thing that He created me to do.
We all fail. We all have times that we are just not good enough. And sometimes, it's not that we aren't good enough, it's just not the right time for us.
Don't let fear keep you from doing anything. Don't let someone else's comments, critiques, or opinions, keep you from anything. If you really want something, don't let anything or anybody keep you from it, especially, when it comes to your dreams.
What is your purpose? What are your gifts? God created you for a purpose and gave you gifts...don't let fear keep you from being who you were created to be.
(I know it's a long one...sorry) Lots of love to ya'll!
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